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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Are you worshipping the right gods?

With all the things that can and do go wrong some days, between the toilet backing up, making you late for work and your cell phone dying so that you can't call the boss, making him angry at you, have you ever thought you were worshipping the wrong gods?

If you are not a morning person, you can start with the Mayan Goddess of Dawn, Aya, and now moving on to that toilet problem
there's Zi-gu, the Chinese Goddess of Toilets or if you prefer Japan (or need a lady doctor), there's Mawaya-no-kami, who also specializes in gynecology. Once the toilet is done with, there's always work traffic, or avoidance of getting stuck on the tram from Roosevelt Island for 11 hours, so you can start praying to Hermes (or Mercury). Hermes is an multi-purpose god who can also ensure that the vintage movie poster of "Bride of the Monster" will go for a good price on ebay.

While you are hoping your boss does not notice your ebay traffic, you may want to start praying to Nephthys (so you fly under her radar) or Marduk just to stay in his/her good graces. While your boss is busy not-noticing how active you are online, you can check your stocks. Pray to Leib-Olmai, god of luck against bears. If you then see a bear in your office, you'll know your stock will probably split.
Pray to Hygeia you don't get food poisoning on lunch or to Ceres or Manisar that you get a good deal (maybe they throw in an extra large fry?) when you go to McD's.
Pray to Bast (the goddess of dance) that you don't twist your ankle on that piece of rug in the middle of the office everyone trips on; to Legba so everyone understands you when you call on your cell, and to Venus, Eros, Freya and Yarilo, so that when you finally see your sweetheart, no one picks a fight and you finally get some. If you are not tired after all this, ask Oisin
to give you a good night's sleep.

Thanks, Godchecker. You rock.

4 Comments:

Blogger X. Dell said...

Sukes, you sound like a head football coach. Your gods have to make the team every season:-)

12:38 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

That's a great post, and Godchecker is very cool

12:43 PM  
Blogger Suki said...

thanks, guys.
This was actually an idea for a play I had when I was in college. Never did work out the plot though.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

How fun! I love stuff like this.

4:04 PM  

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