Mardi Gras seems none too Christian to me. I don't care if it means "Fat Tuesday" in French--those French people never followed those commandments anyway. Here's the dish: Mardi Gras comes to us as a remnant of Saturnalia--an ancient drinking and partying holiday that used to come around Christmas time--but got moved by those wacky Christians because it conflicted with celebrating some martyr's birthday. Saturnalia wasn't a holiday, exactly. Y'see, in the old days, they kept track of time by a lunar calendar and a solar calendar, and they didn't match up, so some geniuses decided that the days in between JUST DIDN'T COUNT. So you could do anything that you wanted--smoke, drink, parade around the streets naked but for grease paint and ugly masks. They dedicated this time to Saturn (if you want to know, is a God of Time) and that's where all those ugly masks come from. Because Saturn is one ugly dude.
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