Besides All That Mr. Whittington, How Was The Safari?
Cheney drunk? "As others have speculated it is likely that Cheney was drunk and he dropped the weapon, causing it to discharge and pepper Whittington at close range. Cheney refused to talk to local police until the next day and the Secret Service made sure the authorities had no access to him."
Shotgun ballistics don't match up. "These pellets are incredibly tiny and the further they get away from the gun, the slower and less forceful they become. So at a distance of about 90 feet (or 30 yards as reported by the White House) the pellets would have hit Whittington with the force equivilent to a gentle shove and have left maybe some tiny surface marks on any exposed skin. The only way to account for the pattern indicated on the TDPW report is if Cheney was about 10 feet away from Whittington when he shot him."
Maybe Dick was involved in one of his human sacrifices and it went awry. The vic is in a hospital in Corpus Christi, after all ("Body of Christ").
Also, and I haven't read about this anywhere else (did some research, I did): The ranch's owner, long-time public servant Anne Armstrong, approved covert actions on President Reagan’s Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board. A good coverer-upper, perhaps.