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Saturday, March 25, 2006

Biblioscopes: Advice for All Sun Signs March 25-31

Biblioscopes are the union of bibliomancy, divination through opening books to random pages and pondering the meaning of the phrases therein, and horoscopes, in that each sign does share certain commonalities, including planetary transits. Each Saturday I ask the Universe to lead my hands in opening the book to the right page for a week's worth of good advice for each sun sign. My comments are in italics.

This week's featured book is “What to Expect: the Toddler Years” by Eisenberg, Murkoff, & Hathaway. Because we all have to deal with those who tantrum (bosses), sulk (lovers), yell “NO” (parents) and ask “why?” (friends).

Aries
“Do you think those boys were being mean to Dumbo? Wasn’t that mouse nice to make Dumbo feel better?” Take some extra time, honesty, and simplicity in your communications this week to make sure everyone understands your point. It may sound like talking down to you, but those you are trying to reach will appreciate it.


Taurus
They may include signs of swelling of the throat (laryngeal edema), such as tickling, gagging, difficulty swallowing, or voice change… Each sign rules a specific part of the body, and Taurus rules the throat. Be sure you are expressing your feelings this week, if only in a journal. Hidden feelings can become physical maladies.

Gemini
If you meet with total resistance, accept that your toddler’s not yet ready, and give up for a while—completely. ‘Nuff said.

Cancer
…because everyone around them is always talking, hogging air time. So be careful to leave an occasional opening for the littlest conversationalist. Someone’s voice is not being heard. Assist.

Leo
Though you may feel like a mad scientist when you start using the nebulizer, the use of this device may help to avoid many visits to the emergency room. Find the strength to grapple with the unfamiliar this week, before it grapples you.

Virgo
“All done!” you can consider providing a simple dessert (fresh fruit or ice cream, for example…) to occupy our child until you are all done. A week of enlightened self-interest. A little extra attention to others’ needs will pay off for you.

Libra
For the average toddler, knowing that a particular behavior irks her parents gives her greater motivation to repeat it—and repeat it. You will have to bite your tongue to get the behavior you want.

Scorpio
When eating out, avoid restaurants that have unwashed windows, a heavy fly population, signs of vermin, and so on… And I hope you already do, but pay attention to your surroundings this week anyway. You deserve it.

Sagittarius
Make it clear it is not okay to hit, bite or kick a sibling (or anyone else for that matter). What about headlocks? Are they okay? You may have to withdraw emotionally from a situation and play referee.

Capricorn
Fighting a power-hungry toddler for control of the toilet paper can only result in mutiny on the potty. Just let go, and let someone else wipe the boss’s ass this week. It will show mature confidence.

Aquarius
Or suggest other interesting ways your child can use his voice—mooing like a cow, meowing like a cat, barking like a dog, vrooming like a car. There are more imaginative ways to communicate. Louder will not necessarily get your point across.

Pisces
The discomfort of starchy collars, stiff trousers, and binding bowties and shoes often bring out the squirmies in toddlers. Instead of dressing down others, dress down yourself.

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