=

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Biblioscopes Advice for All Sun Signs 5/20-26

Biblioscopes are the union of bibliomancy, divination through opening books to random pages and pondering the meaning of the phrases therein, and horoscopes, in that each sign does share certain commonalities, including planetary transits. Each Saturday I ask the Universe to lead my hands in opening the book to the right page for a week's worth of good advice for each sun sign.
This week's featured book is "The System:How to Get Laid TODAY" by Roy Valentine. To connoisseurs of "how to pick up gals" books, this is not the Bible but the DaVinci Code written flat out in 12pt. type on 4x7 paper, with softcore illos.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)
The more you try, the more you're convinced yov've just wasted your night with that "bitch." I hate to say it, but it's your own fault.
He's right. It is your own fault. Putting your own wants before the needs of others will only lead to anger and failure.
Taurus (April 21- May 20)
If still nothing, then I move on. If I do get a hit, though, it's time to play the game.
A certain part of life is luck. Another part, a numbers game. Opportunity will knock twice, but do you really want to wait?

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
She's too hot. She could never want me.
As the sun goes into your sign, Gemini, it is reminding you that you are good enough, smart enough, and darnit, people like you!

Cancer (June 21-July 20)
Control your mind and realize that girls love sex as much as men. That doesn't make her a whore--it makes her human.
Your prejudice of others is controlling your fate. Try, as best you can, to open your mind. If there are contentions between you and someone who is different from you right now, you may want to read an autobiography written by someone else of that background or gender to understand them better.

Leo (July 21-Aug. 20)
My cock isn't big enough.
The secret is out, Leo! Actually, when I see you fluff your mane for the hundredth time, I know that is what you are really feeling. But it's not true. Okay, well it may be true. But a lion with a small penis is still a lion. No need to overdo it.

Virgo (Aug. 21-Sept. 20)
You will start noticing girls who are hot for you based on eye contact and you will pass them up.
Discrimination is the better part of valor, but the question is, is it the better part of fun? Make sure you have some fun this week.

Libra (Sept. 21-Oct. 20)
Well, this is so simple that when I first tell it to guys they refuse to believe me until they try it.
When you explain the obvious this week, make sure you have your PowerPoint ready, or you will look dumb or end up frustrated or both.

Scorpio (Oct. 21-Nov. 20)
In fact, in most cases I know that I'll be able to take home the girl and have sex with her even before I speak to her.
The only reason the above statement is true is that the girl has already made her decision first, either consciously or unconsciously. You will make an important, unspoken connection this week.

Sagittarius (Nov. 21-Dec.20)
You may have danced with a girl in the past and closed the deal, but dancing wih countless others brought no success.
Being goal-oriented this week will only suck the joy out of the moment. Forget the future, and notice the good times you are having now.

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 20)
They have the ability, at will, to mentally condition themselves for success; identify an opportunity for the perfect shot; and they have the skill required to execute the perfect shot.
These are called professionals. Take one step forward this week by learning a little more about one of the above.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb 20)
Often when you meet a girl on the street, in the supermarket, at the department store, etc., she lives only a few blocks away and was probably on her way home anyway.
You will find opportunity for the extraordinary in the ordinary, if you are helpful, friendly, and keep your eyes open.

Pisces (Feb.21-Mar. 20)
The problem is, many women feel cheap if you say something like, 'Hey, let's go back to my place and have sex."
In Japan, women speak an entirely different dialect than men. It's true in English, too, only not so overt. Pisces women: if a man doesn't understand you, just take all the sensitivity out, and poetry out, and say what needs to be said, in sentences of four words or less. Pisces men, if a woman is upset with you, or doesn't understand you, get your ass to Hallmark, and buy a card.

Notes: A complete review of "The System" can be found on my love and sex blog, http://love-suki.blogspot.com.

*The dates given to each sun sign are approximate--the dates of each sun sign change annually with the date of the vernal equinox. If you were born between the 18th and 24th of any month, you should get a free astrology report from www.astrology.com or www.geocosmic.org just so you can answer properly when someone asks, "What's your sign?"

5 Comments:

Blogger Betty S said...

I love these and always look forward to them.

3:20 PM  
Blogger R2K said...

: )

9:34 AM  
Blogger rubenh (thesocialreformer.com) said...

interesting

8:37 PM  
Blogger Vince said...

Nice Blog!
Do you like B Movies, Trivia & Quiz? Please come to visit my blog "Vince's Quiz"!
http://atvinces.blogspot.com/
Vous aimez la série B et les quizs? Venez donc voir mon blog "Vince's Quiz"!
http://atvinces.blogspot.com/

10:14 AM  
Blogger DarkStar888 said...

I hope you folks are kidding...right? You don't actually believe in man-made-up Astrology do you?

The Real Illuminati Agenda is not just to create a world society controlled by fascism, communism, capitalism, socialism, and every other “ism” all rolled up into one. Their ultimate desire is for humanity to cling to this illusory 3D existence.

We are naive children being hammered with a hefty dose of reverse psychology. By threatening to take away our rights, our physical health, our material wealth and our spiritual freedom, we react and scream bloody murder. No way can you do this to me … to us! We are full of indignation. We want to keep our health, our wealth, our comfort, our guns … and the freedom to move about at will. This is how we succumb to the great liar of the universe, and yet all the while we thought we were doing a good and godly thing. Not realizing for an illusory moment that our 3 dimensional experience, which we call our LIFE, is the great illusion, and the UNIVERSE itself is completely NON-EXISTENT.

The Greatest Story Ever Told … THE BIGGEST LIE EVER SOLD.

The Jesus myth (the Hey-Zeus myth) and every christ lie sold throughout the ages is exposed in these pages. Christianity is 6,000 plus years old, not merely 2,000 years since the non-existent Jesus (Hey-Zeus). All sun god worship (including the Jesus myth) has its source in the constellations, the sun and earth. The constellations and natural disasters of our time are connected to the World Trade Centre attack, the fabricated war on terrorism and the global climate scam. These events are different stages of the same agenda. The World Trade Centre attack did not end on September 11, 2001. That event was only the start button.

The governments of the world and the royal elite are not here to take care of you. They are here to kill you. They are not unwittingly trying to kill you. They are deliberately trying to kill you. They are deliberately trying to kill you, but for a reason that eludes even them. Within in the trance state, what seems good and right, and what is justified as sound reasoning and socially acceptable, is absolute insanity when held up to the standard of awareness and wisdom.

8:34 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Who links to me? BlogTagstic - Blog Directory iopBlogs.com, The World's Blog Aggregator