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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

There Is A Light

Tired of the same old religion choices?
Tired of someone else telling you what to believe?
Tired of looking up the noses of strangers?
Or worse, friends?


I'm telling you today... don't lose heart, my children. Haven't found a religion to suit your needs? Start your own! There's valuable help on the Internet. Just googling alone will help you find the instruction you need to get started.

Choose from Four steps The Fed - Start Your Own Religion, in Four Easy Steps
Ten steps How To Create Your Own Religion In 10 Easy Steps
Or Twelve EZ 12-Step Guide to Starting Your Own Religion, How To Program

Prefer something a little more restrictive? Cults have been a popular form of religious expression for scads of years! You can make your cult with creepy big-brother dogma or without. THE CULT CONSTRUCTION SET

But don't fear. If starting your own religion or cult makes you break out in a cold sweat, you still have a choice. (Wait, we do still have choices, right?)

How about Mooism? Mooism started in a virtual community in the early nineties as an experiment using religion as a medium. It's popularity spread and why not? Just look at their slogan!

"Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law, Unless Thou Wilt Not Follow The Law, In Which Case Don't."

Or look at their answers to just what is this Mooism all about?

MOOism is a form of Metagnostic Agnostic MystiSchism
MOOism is a memetic virus designed to promote diversity
MOOism is a cult/religion/collision
MOOism is an alien thought-control plot to destroy humanity
MOOism is the only surviving remnant of Atlantis
MOOism is nothing at all
MOOism is a reductio ad absurdum argument against the universe
MOOism is that which remains when all belief is removed
MOOism is that stoopid f**king religion thing. You know.
MOOism is a WOMBAT-construct
MOOism is an Elvis/"BoB"/Eris worshipping PseudoKult
MOOism is a religion that doesn't discrimiate by belief
MOOism is a living incarnation of the Law of B*llsh*t
MOOism is that property which CapriCancers lack
MOOism is a bagel left on the counter too long
MOOism is the quest for personal identity through stupidity
MOOism is organized hebephrenia
MOOism is a figment of someone's deranged imagination
MOOism is a branch of the SubGenius/Discordianism
MOOism is nothing
MOOism is something
MOOism is everything

The Grate Book of Moo is a very, very large, translated text with oodles of information such as the explanation for the real beginning of civilization, the fact that mind-control conspiracies are people too and The Semi Chronicles.
http://www.textfiles.com/occult/MOOISM/mooism.txt

The Official Website is hereThe Church of MOO. I found various sites with information on this religion, but most had mysteriously disappearing links. Two survivors: HOUND PAGES:MOOism, Asparagus & Miscellaneous Strangeness and MOO As An Artform - For Real This Time

If this doesn't appeal, you can always go back to his Great Noodliness. His forgiveness to strays is infinitely wide open, man. Flying Spaghetti Monster And don't forget to pray for Pirates!

4 Comments:

Blogger X. Dell said...

(1) Between you and Suki, I'm sure we can start about four or five religions from this website.

(2) I think Mooism copys a lot from Crowley. . . or doesn't.

(3) Hebephrenia? You can get that from a lot of established sects. Why go elsewhere?

(4) YAAAAY! More humor. I love this post.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Betty S said...

I want to start my own religion.

My daughter has started Jennism. All of the followers are to worship her in mind, body, spirit and chocolate.

11:46 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

I think I can almost go for chocolate worship.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

And here I worried it was too much. (g)

I toned it down big time, too. Yeah, I think Suki and I would hit it off.

Chocolate rules. When it's mixed with coffee, I need nothing else.

Mocha-ism?

10:41 AM  

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