Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Magickal Mistakes 1: Don't try this at home, or anywhere else

I don't know why I wanted very large breasts when I was 15. I just did. Basically shunned at school, no family life to speak of (pair of workaholic alcoholics) I think I basically decided that getting laid was the answer, and that giant breasts would certainly help.

My mother and grandmother had smallies. My mom had filled me in on all of her conquests (She was engaged seven times, had dates with several different men on the same day, worked the jazz musician circuit and the car repairman circuit before meeting my dad.) She often teased me about not having any male attention. Anyways, so there I was, with my magick books, and I decided on large breasts. I used image magic with a mirror. I decided to time it to some music. I really liked the Cars, and played "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" while I did the visualization, every night for a month.

My breasts grew in leaps and bounds--about a cup-size a month after that, ending with size G (or as men say, geeeee). And the dates started coming in. Great. And I started having boyfriends (big surprise). But then, I'd go out with a guy for a few months, and then end up going out with his best friend for months (or in the end, years). It would create all kinds of drama (fortunately everyone was mature enough to stay friends) but I got kind of sick of it after a while. I totally blame playing "Best Friend's Girlfriend" while doing the magick. The whole thing finally ended when I got married--nine years later. Being more than a girlfriend ended the cycle, I guess.

Next week--Magickal Mistakes 2: Other people are not your personal zombies.


Blogger X. Dell said...

I'm wondering what might have happened if you would've picked some other songs.

1. Respect (Aretha)
2. Paint it Black (Stones)
3. Going to Alaska (Karen Black)
4. Bloodletting (Concrete Blonde)

Lord knows what might have happened if you were listening to John Lennon and Yoko Ono's "Milk and Honey" album.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

Would that be the band The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black, or the actress Karen Black of "Trilogy of Terror" fame?

2:02 PM  
Blogger Suki said...

You are right! If only I had played Respect!!! Sigh...

4:20 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

The band, not the actress. (I can't imagine that the actress would have a very good singing voice, but I could be wrong.)

11:23 AM  

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